If you have been reading my posts I think it is no secret that I am a mommy, and a wife that went through the pain of an emotional affair. Thankfully, and only by the grace of God we managed to salvage our marriage and honestly I don`t think we have ever been this close. We decided that this was not something we wanted to push under the rug like some dirty little secret, and made the decision to share our story with the hope that it will help someone, somewhere who is going through the same.
However, if you are like us and want to use your story to inspire, help and motivate others there are just a few things you need to understand and be aware of:
- The most important of all – dont do this unless you are sure that you have forgiven, healed and worked through all of it. If you havent this will only rip open all the wounds that are not completely healed yet and might actually do more damage that good.
- Dont try to be a marriage counselor if you are not trained to be one. I am saying this because although I am always to willing to listen, and give comfort I am not a trained counselor and I understand that by trying to be one I risk giving the wrong advice at the wrong time and this can actually ruin a person and do so much damage.
- Dont do it to get back at anyone, be sure that you are sharing your story for the right reasons.
- I know its hard,but your testimony should not even contain the other parties name, it is not their story its yours, they were just one of the characters. By naming and shaming them you once again just give them more power than they deserve, and again, by doing this you are completely missing the point. If you feel that you need to do that, I think it is safe to say that you have not worked through this yet and you should rather focus on that 🙂
- Know that not everybody will be supportive, unfortunately you will always get people that thrive on the hurt and mistakes made by others, be ready to handle this.
- Understand that people will be people, you will always get the nosy ones that will just want all the “juicy” details, the ones just interested in the who, when, where,how,why,what part of the story. It is important that you and your partner discuss this and agree on exactly how much of the detail you are willing to share.
- By doing this, you are sharing a piece of your heart, make sure what platform you want to share it on. For example we decided to share it with our church, in a video recorded testimony that we gave them permission to use how they see fit. (and now here)
- Know that by talking about this it might remind you about a lot of painful moments, memories and things that happened. Talk to your partner as soon as you start to feel down so that the both of you can find comfort in each other.
- I have to say from personal experience doing this has felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I actually feel proud standing beside my husband, knowing we made it!
- Last but not least, if you are going through this, stay strong, stay positive, STAY ON YOUR KNEES, and know that there is always hope.